The Girlfriend Test
by kukumalu01
Summary: Tezuka takes a survey online and Eiji happens to take a look at the title… and by chance all the Seigaku regulars come crowding over his laptop. CRACK.


**THE GIRLFRIEND TEST**

Tezuka takes a survey online and Eiji happens to take a look at the title… and by chance all the Seigaku regulars come crowding over his laptop. CRACK.

* * *

It _was_ a normal afternoon. That was, until Tezuka took out his laptop.

The Seigaku tennis team was resting in the courts after a long, tiring practice. As a person who believed no time should be wasted, Tezuka Kunimitsu took out his laptop and logged on to the school website to do the latest history test online.

_Really_. It was just an innocent, boring, 5-minute history test made by his history teacher, who decided to go modern with his teaching. It just so happens that while Tezuka was doing it, an 'advertisement' popped up on his screen.

_THE GIRLFRIEND TEST. WE WILL ANALYSE YOUR GIRLFRIEND FOR YOU. ONLY DO IF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND __NOW__._

"Nya, a girlfriend?" Kikumaru Eiji exclaimed, leaning to his right to peer into Tezuka's laptop screen. He looked at his captain, innocence radiating from his wide eyes. "Are you going to do it, nya?"

"There is only a 50% chance that Tezuka-buchou will do the test," Inui said with a straight face, leaning behind the green bench Tezuka was sitting on.

"Obviously," Momo said, stretching his leg in front of him. "Either he has a girlfriend or he doesn't. Don't make data up, Inui-senpai!"

"Fshuu," Kaidoh growled, defending his senior. "I can't believe you can do math now."

"What did you say, viper!"

"I said, your math only seems to apply to girls!"

"TAKE THAT BACK-"

_Click_. An automated, robotic reply responded, "Thank you for taking the Girlfriend Test. Your first question; _How long have you been going out with this girl_?"

"Tezuka!" Oishi cried, completely astonished. "You have a girlfriend and you never told me?"

"Tch," Ryoma Echizen said, his hat masking his face, and his impressed smile. "Buchou has a girlfriend."

The robotic voice continued, "_One and a half years_. YES or NO?"

Tezuka double-clicked. YES.

"I'm impressed, Tezuka," Fuji said, smiling. The brown-haired tensai handed his tennis racket to Taka-san while he took out his camera.

"GO TEZUKA! A HOT CHICK, YEAH?"

The robotic voice interrupted. "Second question; _How did the two of you end up together_?"

Eiji read his answer over his shoulder. "My father introduced her to me, after my last one got into a car accident when she fell during our date and got crushed."

"YOUR GIRLFRIEND DIED?" Oishi exclaimed.

Tezuka ignored the wave of questions and continued with the third question. Though his poker face never wavered, he was quite enjoying himself now.

"Third question; _Have you ever gone out with another girl before this person?_"

"One," Tezuka muttered, and pressed 'enter'.

"The _one_ that got killed!" cried Oishi. "Am I the only one who cares?" He looked around at the bickering second years, the rookie who was the only one doing the cooling down exercises, the tensai who was mercilessly taking pictures of everyone's reaction, the raving man who was starting to describe Tezuka's girlfriend in M-rated terms, the data man who was scribbling down all of Tezuka's answers furiously and his best friend, who seemed to be taking all the answers with surprising calmness.

Yes, he was the only one who cared.

Oishi turned away sadly.

"Fourth question; _Do you feel like cheating_?"

"All the time. She's really cheap," Inui muttered Tezuka's answer under his breath. "Flip to page 28, change Tezuka's statistics from _zero_ to _hero_."

The robotic voice spoke up. "From your results, your girlfriend resembles nothing but a cheap _mobile phone_ which you've had for one and a half years, which your father bought for you because your previous phone fell from your pocket and a car ran over it."

It _was_ a normal afternoon. That was, except the courts were absolutely silent now, except for the light chuckles of a scheming tensai and the faint smile of a captain.

Never say that geniuses never have fun.

* * *

LEAVE A REVIEW ;) Inspired by a facebook post by my friend. Haha.


End file.
